The rogue Rogue
by xXMortXx
Summary: brainless humor..Movieverse Rouge meets Comic verse Xmen! Unsure of the time..Collosus and Kitty, but also Gambit..so i guess its minor AU..if ya like, tell me and ill continue XD


"So wolvie..." she whispered, in her deepest, sexiest voice, "why don't we ever spend time together anymore? Like when we first met... that WHOLE long ride in the truck... nothing to do but entertain ourselves when it broke down... You keep avoiding me and a girl could get to thinkin' you don't like her no more..."  
Wolverine turned around slowly, not recognizing the voice. It vaguly reminded him of a pre-pubescant Mel Gibson with bronchitis. There was a shadowy figure standing in his doorway... small, petite, smelling like a gallon of Calvin Kline.   
"Who the fuck are you?" he grunted and flipped to the next page in his porno mag. Ahh... now theres a centerfold to be proud of he thought as he gazed at Mystiques slim, blue scaled form, plasterd on the page of "Dirty Mutant XXX".  
"It's me lover!" her voice came out in a high pitched squeak, as she lost control and ran into Wolverines musty room. She threw herself into his lap, nearly poking her eye out on his erection. "OW!" she gasped and passed out. Wolverine peeled his eyes from the spread eagle image of Dark Pheonix, doing naughty things with a plastic dildo shaped like nightcrawlers tail. He bent over and looked at the still figure on his floor.  
He grunted in surprise.  
  
  
"I dunno professor. She just ran into my room and passed out."  
"Hmm... interesting." Xavier prodded the prone figure on the bed with various medical apparatuses. He studied her features. She looked like she had yet to reach adulthood, and was still trapped in her teenage years. Her long brown hair was spread out around her head like a dark halo, with two shining streaks of white bangs splashed in the mix.   
"She looks vaguly familier Logan." He muttered as he shone lights into her varous orifices.  
"That's what I thought, Xav, but I can't figure where I've seen her before." Wolverine scratched at the back of his neck. "Well... guess we should call a meetin..."  
  
Nightcrawler gazed around the room at his teameates.   
  
Kitty and Colossus were probing each other's throats with their tounges. Occasionaly they'd emit a grunt or giggle. Nightcrawler hoped they didn't forget where they were like last time, and give the rest of the teammates a show. He still had nightmares of that giant bulge being exposed, sheathed in metal, glistening in the light... ok. Maybe they weren't exactly nightmares...  
  
Storm leaned in as close to the professor as she could without actually entering his skin. She had replaced her regular, modest, caped apparal with her noew costume. It was a silvery two piece, constructed with less then a square foot of fabric. Everyone knew she had done it to get the proffessors attention. Jean hadn't had the heart to tell Storm it was hopless. Xavier was more attracted to Magnetos type.  
  
He turned to look towards Cyclops. He was sitting straight up, with perfect posture in stiff wooden chair. His gaze was fixed on Jean across the room, and every muscle in his body screamed with coiled tension.   
Jean on the other hand was calmly stretched out on the floor gazing openly at Wolverine. The two mutants kept making discreet erotic gestures and giggling at their private joke. Well, not so private. Poor Cyclops, he was the only mutant who hadn't walked in on one of their wild times.  
  
Rogue and Gambit were also apparently lost in their own private world. In order to solve the whole "Can't Touch Anyone Without Absorbing All Their Powers" problem, Rogue had invested in a full body, tight fitting, leather cover-all, complete with gloves, mask, and inner mouthpiece. Nightcrawler didn't want to think about what other "inner" areas the leather suit included. Now Remy and Rogue could have their way with eachother, without even touching eachother. Of course, it appeared to all outsiders as if Remy had invested in a giant leather sex toy.  
  
The professor, done with whatever he was doing, turned to face the crew. He coughed, and waited expectantly for silence. It didnt come. The X-men were all quite busy in their own universes. Well, al the X-men except Storm, who was gazing intently at the professor. "Im listening , Ch-arl-es". She strung the name out, tasting each sylable, then licked her lips. Xavier looked at her conerned. "Storm, are you having vocal problems? is your throat sore? Those lips look chapped..." he pulled out a thermometer and shoved it in her mouth. "you should go lie down. I dont want to risk your health!"  
Storm reluctently walked away, muttering curse words under her breathe, around the thermometer. 


End file.
